Pieces of Motherly Love

⁃ 3 of the smallest things which fulfil my heart

Motherhood in itself is magical, beautiful, messy, tiring, wonderful, weird, overwhelming, exciting and heartwarming all at the same time… on a daily basis.

Motherhood is unique to every mama and child relationship, and the beauty of this uniqueness is that it’s yours. It’s yours to keep forever – that wonderful, warm and gentle vibe of being a mother. Being their mother, their protector, their shelter, their lifeline, their everything.

You see, my daughter, Mila; she completes me. She’s made my heart grow to what seems a thousand times bigger than it was before she was here.

She’s made me a better person in so many ways and she continues to do that every day. I am better because of her. I’m kinder because of her. I’m grateful because of her. She has graced me with a love so pure and so tender, that I can only describe a fraction of it here, in Pieces of Motherly Love.

Number 1 – Sleeping Baby

So, I know sleeping babies are cute. Obviously! There’s something so stinking cute about seeing a baby sweet, sweet dreamin’.

Hold up though – but this is MY baby who is sleeping. Game changer. No one could prepare me for the hours I would spend just watching Mila sleep.

That face. Those eyelashes casting long shadows over her cheeks. Those rosebud lips, half puckered and occasionally giving dreamy half-smiles. That button nose, so cute and perfect. Those cheeks, pink and plump and so, so smooth underneath my fingertips. Those tiny little fingers, curled around her bunny comforter, or thrown up next to her head in pure abandonment.

That chest, rising and falling so steadily, with deep relaxing breaths that make her chubby little tummy jiggle oh so slightly.

Those legs, positioned like a bow, reminding me of a little frog laid on its back just floating along! And the toes – don’t even get me started on the toes because I’ve shed many a tear over Mila’s cute little podgey feet!

The utter innocence and fragility of babies is multiplied tenfold when they are sleeping. They are within their most peaceful moments and to see and observe that is just precious.

I could spend (and have spent) bags of time in the small hours of the night just watching her sleep and thanking my lucky stars for blessing me with this beautiful child.

Number 2 – Baby Giggles

Oh • Sweet • Jesus

So I covered baby smiles in a previous blogpost, and I remember writing that post with a heart so full I thought it might burst. That was because Mila had started giving me big, huge, real smiles… she was showing me that she was happy.

Baby giggles though – well, my heart may as well jump out of my chest and do it’s own victory jig before spontaneously combusting, that’s how incredibly full of love it is, when Mila giggles and laughs.

It really is something else, and once again no one could prepare me for the intense happiness I would and still do feel, from hearing my daughter giggle. I’m not just making her happy enough to do smiles anymore.. I’ve chartered into laughing territory. I mean, this awesome little person thinks I’m funny!!! I’m making her laugh!!!

Sure, I’m only blowing raspberries on her tummy and tickling her feet but seriously, before she learnt how to smile and giggle, she would give me such resting bitch face that even I started to question my own hilarity.

But now, ahhh now, my girl finds me funny. She giggles when I throw her in the air and jostle her around, when I tickle her feet and the back of her neck, when I blow raspberries on her tummy and cheeks, when I pull funny faces, make silly noises and play peek-a-boo.

Okay I’m not going to lie – 2 years ago if someone had told me that I would be making mooing, quacking, oinking and clucking sounds to an ecstatic, wild audience of one miniature human, and that I would keep going, and going, and going, just to keep hearing that same tinkly, gorgeous, make-your-ovaries-throb giggle again and again; well, I’d have choked on my wine. But… such is life. Here I am, mooing and quacking and raspberry-blowing central! Never looked back!

Number 3 – Eye Communication

Babies really do have the most beautiful eyes, it’s got to be said. Bright, wide, inquisitive eyes that take everything in so their wonderful little brains can process everything as they see it.

Most babies are born with blue eyes, which then change colour and clarity as they get older, but my darling girl was born with deep deep brown eyes, she’s now almost 5 months old and they have not changed at all.

Her eyes are something else. She has her Daddy’s eyes. Dark, chocolatey brown and they are so bright, they shine and glimmer and light up any room. They brighten up my life every day.

I look into Mila’s eyes and I see my husband. They are identical to his. Huge, almond-shaped, sparkly eyes. They say the eyes are the window to your soul and when Mila stares at me with wonderment, inquisition and love in her eyes, my feelings of adoration for her and her Daddy make me feel equal parts weak and strong.

Other mamas will experience the same I’m sure, but the feelings that envelope you when you have eye communication with your baby is completely overwhelming in the most natural sense.

Mila’s eyes are powerful in their beauty.

The best moments are when she locks eyes with me and stares at me when she is feeding. It’s almost like she is saying to me, “Thank you mama, thank you for my milk”.

Also, when she is falling asleep in my arms, her little hand clasped around my hair or my shirt, and she’s drifting off to sleep but doing long, lazy blinks as she tries to stay awake and see my face for longer. In between each blink I see those gorgeous sleepy eyes and feel full of love. It’s like she’s saying to me, “Stay with me mama, keep holding me”.

When I am talking to her, or singing to her and her gaze is fixed on me, a big smile on her face as she takes in my words. The way the corners of her eyes crinkle up when she smiles, and glisten and shimmer, it’s just everything. It’s like she’s saying to me, “You’re funny mama, keep telling me things, I’m always listening”.

Every morning when I hear her waking up, and pop my head over her Moses basket, her eyes literally light up as she begins smiling her head off! The first time she sees my face that day and it makes her so happy. It’s like she’s saying to me, “Morning mama, I haven’t seen you all night, I’m so excited that it’s morning”.

One of the best moments was just recently during 4 month sleep regression. Mila had woken around 4am and was fussing a lot in her basket next to my bed, so I ended up putting her in my bed next to me where she settled right back off to sleep.

**No mom-shaming please. On the rare occasions when I do co-sleep, it’s for the benefit of both of us and is completely safe. I will, at some point, do a post on how I safely co-sleep for anyone who is interested.**

Anyway, she settled right back off into dreamland and so did I. She woke before I did, a little after 8am. I woke up and I knew she was already awake, because her podgey little hands were poking and prodding my face. I like to call it “exploring” my face.

I kept my eyes closed for a good 10 minutes, letting her play and touch my face (and poke my eyes!)

Then she stopped, with her hand just resting on my cheek and so I thought she had fallen back to sleep.

That’s when I opened my eyes, and Mila was not asleep. Instead, she was laid on her side, facing me, with her itty bitty hand resting on my cheek, just staring at my face. And when I opened my eyes, the smile she gave me will fulfil my heart forever.

It was the biggest, gummy-est, brightest and most face-splitting smile I have ever seen. It was like she was saying to me, “I’ve been waiting for you to open your eyes mama, but I decided to let you sleep, good morning!”

The eyes are the window to your soul.

Eye communication with your baby provides you both with an understanding of each other that no one else could ever fathom.

Motherly love.

Cherish it all. Drink it in. Store it away in the most precious part of your heart and memory and relive it whenever you have a bad day.

•••Remind yourself who you’re doing it all for.•••

Healthy Eating : Recipes and Methods

As a new mama, I’ve found that it can be hard to maintain a healthy eating lifestyle, but one thing I’ve promised myself is that I will always try my hardest to live healthier now that I have a responsibility as a mother.

Not only that, but I genuinely believe that if you look after yourself physically, it works wonders for your mental health too.

While I do want to shed some pounds to look better for myself, I also want to feel better in my own skin and I think I have finally cracked it! A combination of eating well and exercising is enabling me to slowly but surely lose my baby weight and start to feel better about myself both physically and mentally.

So after 8 weeks of cooking up healthy (but super tasty) recipes, which have been a huge hit with family and friends, I wanted to share 6 of my favourites here! Hopefully others can use these recipes and enjoy some tasty grub whilst being healthy at the same time!

Before you go any further, please be aware that a lot of my dishes feature chicken as it’s my favourite meat! (Also a fan of vine tomatoes!)

I am also not a nutritionist in any way, shape or form, I’m just sharing what works for me, so please, no bashing! 😊

Spicy Jambalaya

Ingredients

(To serve 4-6)

3 x chicken breasts – diced

1 x chorizo ring – diced

1 x onion – thick cut

1 x red pepper – largely diced

2 x red chillis – finely chopped

1 x whole garlic bulb (adjust as necessary, I just love garlic!) – chopped/crushed

1 x can of chopped tomatoes

400mls chicken stock

5-6 cups of long grain rice

7-8 squirts of fry-lite

5 x tsp of Cajun spice

3 x tsp of cayenne chilli pepper

Method

1. Using a large pan (I always use a large crock pot) brown off the chicken using the fry-lite and then add the garlic.

2. Add to the pan the chorizo, red pepper and onion and cook on medium heat for 10 minutes.

3. Add the chopped tomatoes, spices and chicken stock and cook on low heat for 20 minutes.

4. Part-cook the rice separately until it is midway between hard and fluffy, then drain it and add it to the pan. Mix well and cook on medium heat for 20 minutes (or until rice has absorbed some of the moisture and is fluffy)

5. Serve with either a side salad, fruity falafel or sweet potato fritter (fritter recipe to follow)

Tip: If the jambalaya is still watery, add extra stock (but not water) and leave to simmer for 10 minutes.

Sweet Potato Fritter

Ingredients

(To serve 4-6)

1 x large sweet potato – grated

4 x carrots – grated

2 x red chillis – finely chopped

4 x spring onions – finely chopped

1 x bulb of garlic – crushed

Bunch of fresh coriander – finely chop the stalks and save a couple of leaves for garnish

2 x tablespoons of cumin seeds

4 x tsp of ground cumin

4 x tsp of turmeric

4 x tablespoons of plain flour

3 x eggs

4 x squirts of fry-lite

1 x lime

Tzatziki (optional but goes great with the fritters!)

Method

1. Add the carrots and potato to a large mixing bowl and stir well.

2. Add the chillis, garlic, coriander stalks, cumin seeds and spring onions. Mix well.

3. Add the flour and mix until you can barely see any flour.

4. Add the eggs and mix well – now you shouldn’t be able to see any flour.

5. Add the ground cumin and the turmeric and mix well (add extra if you want them more spicy).

6. Leave in the fridge for 1-2 hours

7. Grease 1-2 large baking trays with fry-lite and then using your hands make balls out of the mixture. Flatten the balls to make fritters around 1-2cm thick. (If they are too thick they don’t cook brilliantly).

8. Cook in the oven on 190 degrees (fan oven) for 30 minutes.

9. Garnish with coriander leaves and lime. Serve with tzatziki for a snack, or with jambalaya for a tasty meal!

Sweet and Sour Chicken

(To serve 2)

Ingredients

2 x chicken breasts – diced

1/4 small pineapple – cut into small chunks

1 x small onion – cut into small wedges

1 x small red pepper – largely diced

1 x small green pepper – largely diced

2 x spring onions – chopped

8 x tsp cornflour

1 x garlic bulb – crushed

150mls fresh pineapple juice

1 x small piece of root ginger – peeled and grated

4 x tsp dark soy sauce

1 x tablespoon white wine vinegar

1 x tablespoon brown sugar

1 x tablespoon tomato ketchup

1 x tsp dried chilli flakes

5 x squirts of fry-lite

Method

1. Add 4tsp of cornflour to a mixing bowl and add 1 tablespoon of the pineapple juice. Mix until smooth.

2. Put the rest of the pineapple juice in another bowl and add the chilli flakes, ketchup, brown sugar, vinegar, soy sauce, garlic, ginger and mix well.

3. Add the fry-lite, onions and peppers to a wok or frying pan and stir fry on a high heat for a couple of minutes.

4. Cover the chicken in the remaining cornflour until it’s fully coated and then add this to the wok. Mix well and fry for 5 minutes.

5. Add the pineapple sweet and sour mixture to the wok, along with the pineapple chunks and mix well. Switch to a medium heat and cook for 15 minutes, stirring often.

6. Add the pineapple and cornflour mixture and cook for 1 minute, stirring to coat the chicken and vegetables until they are sticky.

7. Sprinkle the chopped spring onions and serve with a side salad,or broccoli rice.

BBQ Pork Loin Steaks

(To serve 4)

Ingredients

4 x lean pork loin steaks

8 tsps dry BBQ seasoning

Black pepper

Piccolino vine tomatoes

2 x handfuls of mushrooms (whole)

3 x carrots – washed, unpeeled and chopped into large chunks

Pinch of dried rosemary

4 x squirts of fry-lite

Method

1. Season the steaks with the dried BBQ seasoning and black pepper and leave in fridge overnight.

2. Put the chopped carrots in an oven tray and sprinkle the rosemary over them. Cook in the oven on 180 degrees (fan oven) for 30 minutes.

3. Fry the steaks on a medium heat with the fry-lite for 15 minutes, turning regularly

4. Whilst the steaks are cooking, grill the vine tomatoes and mushrooms for 10 minutes (remember to turn the mushrooms)

5. Serve altogether (I had mine with the sweet potato fritter as well)

Salmon and Spinach Fishcakes

(To serve 2-4)

Ingredients

2 x white potatoes – cooked and mashed

1 x fillet of fresh salmon

Lemon zest (I used practically a full lemon peel)

1 x handful of spinach leaves – finely chopped

1 x egg – whisked

2 x tsps chopped parsley

50g of breadcrumbs

2 x tsps chopped dill

5 x tsps plain flour

1 x tsp tomato ketchup

2 x tablespoons of sunflower oil

Pinch of salt and black pepper

Method

1. To begin, you will need 3 separate dishes, 1 for the flour, 1 for the egg and 1 for the breadcrumbs. (Makes life easier if you have these ready).

2. Add to the pan of mashed potato the lemon zest, parsley, dill, chopped spinach and ketchup. Mix well and set aside.

3. Season the salmon with the salt and pepper, then grill on a medium heat for 5 minutes (you don’t want it fully cooked at this stage – a mistake I made the first time around!)

4. Break the salmon into chunky flakes and add to the potato mixture and mix well.

5. Using your hands, make the fishcake shapes (this should do up to 4) as big or as small as you want.

6. Dip each fishcake into the bowl of flour, then the egg, then the breadcrumbs – making sure each fishcake is coated from each bowl.

7. Place on a greased oven tray and cook in the oven on 170 degrees (fan oven) for 10 minutes.

8. Serve with stir-fried vegetables of your choice and grilled vine tomatoes.

Tip: I used ramekins to cover my fishcakes and hold the lovely shape!

Stuffed Chicken Breast

(To serve 2)

Ingredients

2 x large chicken breasts

1 x red pepper – chopped small

1 x onion – chopped small

1 x garlic bulb – crushed

2 x tsps dried chilli flakes

2 x tsps curry powder

2 x tsps dried basil

4 x cherry tomatoes – chopped small

4 x prosciutto ham slices

Pinch of salt and black pepper

Method

1. Carefully slice each chicken breast down the side, so that it opens up as a flap (like a book).

2. Fill the right-hand layer of breast with the red pepper, onion, chopped vine tomatoes and garlic.

3. Add a pinch of the chilli flakes, curry powder and basil.

4. Close the left-hand layer of breast over the top of everything, and wrap each breast in 2 slices of prosciutto ham, sealing tight.

5. Sprinkle the remaining seasoning over the top and place on a greased baking tray.

6. Cook in the oven on 170 degrees (fan oven) for 30-40 minutes until the ham goes dark and crispy.

7. Serve with salad, or vegetables, or risotto rice.

Tip: The ham is optional, but it stops the chicken from drying out by keeping it moist – plus it’s super tasty too!

There will be more recipes to follow, and whenever I get good feedback on a yummy meal I will be sure to bookmark it for future blogposts!

Hope you enjoy! If you have any questions about any part of my recipes then please feel free to message me and I’ll help however I can.

Big love and happy cooking ♥️

What to do if your baby is choking – 6 steps

Once a nurse, always a nurse!

Whilst I didn’t continue down the career path of being a nurse due to me being way, way too overly sensitive and attached, I have always kept my nursing instincts as well as keeping up to date on first aid, CPR and home care.

As a new mother who will be starting baby-led weaning in around 2 months, I have once again familiarised myself with the differences between gagging and choking; and that’s why I’ve put together this blogpost to help others out there, in case of those scary situations!

First of all, it’s important to remember that gagging is a natural reflex and means that baby is expelling something from their throat/mouth. Gagging PREVENTS choking! If your baby is gagging, they will most-likely appear red-faced and will thrust their tongue, cough and splutter. This is normal and means that baby is working it out. It’s medically recommended that you let a gagging child work it out themselves, as any interference can cause choking.

The main physical differences between gagging and choking:

– Gagging – Baby will start to turn red, and will be loud! Making coughing/spluttering/grunting sounds.

– Choking – Baby will start to turn blue, and will be silent/unable to make noise! This is where you will need act fast.

Now, choking is the dangerous part and through my paediatric first aid training, I can help other parents identify choking and hopefully remain calm, in order to be able to proceed through the 6 steps as outlined below:

1. Have a quick look inside their mouth and if baby is able to cough, encourage them to do so.

2. If baby is unable to cough effectively, give them 5 firm back blows between the shoulder blades, using the heel of your hand.

3. Check if they have coughed anything out after each blow.

4. If back blows haven’t been effective, then using two fingers, give 5 downward chest thrusts, once again checking if anything is coughed up after each thrust.

5. Alternate back blows and chest thrusts and ensure that someone has called emergency services.

6. Usually the above steps will dislodge the item and baby will cough it out, however if your baby hasn’t, and loses consciousness, start CPR straight away until emergency services arrive.

I can’t imagine how scary it must be to have a choking child, but I feel it’s imperative that as their only saviour in that moment, we must try our hardest to remain calm.

Calmness saves lives and so does awareness. If this post helps just one person save a choking infant then I would post it every day!

“Loud and red? Let them go ahead.

Silent and blue? They need help from you.”

My Tips & Tricks for fussy phases, and why I won’t do CIO

As mothers, we love our children more than anything. It’s an indescribable, infinite, unequivocal and breath taking love that knows no bounds.

It’s a love that you can’t actually explain and to say “I love my baby”, is the biggest understatement of life!

A mother’s love is like no other. I would literally die for my darling baby Mila and it hurts me deep in my soul when she is hurting. Whether that hurting is physical or emotional, it causes a heart wrenching pain for me to see her hurting.

Mila is now 13 weeks old so she’s unable to tell me when she’s not happy, the only way she can do this is by crying, fussing and being clingy.

Although I’m only 13 weeks into motherhood, we are in our 3rd developmental leap which obviously brings out a huge amount of fussiness and unhappiness for Mila, as her little brain starts to conquer the world of smooth transitions. It’s a difficult time for babies when they enter a developmental leap, because their world is turned upside down by new sensations, sounds, emotions and wants.

Now I’m absolutely no expert at getting babies through a leap, that’s just something that happens, but I have found that certain things work for me and Mila, and I’m hopeful that by sharing some of my tips and tricks, that it will help other mamas in the same boat, whether it’s during a leap or whether it’s during general crankiness.

1. Cuddles are everything

I can’t stress enough how much cuddles help my little one when she is unhappy. The physical closeness is soothing to babies, especially closeness with their mama, after all, they lived within you!What helps me during particularly fussy times, is by reminding myself that just a few weeks ago, myself and Mila were as one. I was her and she was me. She lived inside me, I grew her, my womb was her home, she heard my heartbeat and the rhythm of my body soothed her. Well it’s no different now, during a fussy phase, sometimes all that will help is that physical closeness with mama.

2. Crying it out – not for me and here’s why

The first thing I want to say here with regards to increased crying during more difficult times, or indeed at night time when you want to sleep – they will stop. I promise you.

Now I’ve had various people suggest to me the “crying it out” method, or CIO, when I’ve mentioned that Mila has cried a lot during a particular night. I won’t judge anyone who tries or chooses this method, as I am not a “mum shamer” nor am I judgemental (after all, I’m brand new at this myself!) but what I would do is tell you my reasons why I won’t do CIO. (My alternative methods will follow).

Babies are not crying to piss you off. They’re not crying to deliberately stop you from sleeping. They’re crying because they need you. Their brains aren’t mentally able to cope with many things, and if they don’t need something physical, like feeding or burping, chances are they need you emotionally. I can guarantee there are a thousand things that will bewilder babies, frighten them, alarm them or simply make them feel unhappy.

For me, crying it out won’t happen, because I know Mila doesn’t cry to upset me. She doesn’t know I’m tired, she doesn’t know I’ve tried everything, she just needs me. So walking away and letting her cry is not an option for me. I’ve come to understand that babies as young as Mila simply aren’t able to “self soothe”, they don’t have the mental capacity to be able to do that. So their own crying will just distress them more.

Also, as a grown adult, I literally cannot think of anything worse than being so sad, crying my heart out, being left completely alone and crying myself to sleep. So in my eyes, why would I let my baby do that?

3. Alternative methods to CIO

i) Voice – Lots and lots and lots of reassurance. That may sound silly because babies can’t understand what you’re saying, but they do understand your voice and your tone; and I’ve found that offering Mila constant reassurance through her crying, has significantly reduced a) the amount of times she will cry when she has no physical need and b) the length of her crying periods.

By “reassurance”, what I mean, and what I do is hold Mila cradled in my arms and facing towards my breast/chest. I rock her gently, give her the binky (dummy/pacifier), and constantly say over and over in a gentle tone, “it’s okay baby, it’s alright baby, Mummy is here, Mummy is here, shh shh shh, it’s okay baby….” and so on. This settles her a lot!

ii) Shushing and/or white noise – I don’t know for certain, but I think Mila is comforted by my soft shushing because it sounds similar to white noise. White noise has been proven to settle babies. When Mila was 1-2 weeks old, I used to have a “hairdryer app” on my phone which helped a little, but now, we use a Ewan the Dreamsheep which is so much more effective (and better for mama too!)

If Mila won’t settle at night when I put her in her bed, I will pick her up and do everything I mentioned above until she falls asleep in my arms, then turn on Ewan and gently lay her in her Moses basket and when I move my arms away, instantly rock the basket with one hand, and place my other hand either on her chest or on her cheek. She will be vaguely aware that I am no longer holding her, but is comforted by my presence, the rocking and the white noise. After 5 minutes I can usually get into bed myself and she will now stay soundly asleep. (After weeks and weeks of doing the above might I mention).

iii) Eliminate the possibility of there being a physical need – So, does baby need a little feed? Don’t be fooled if baby was only fed an hour ago; because I’ve learnt that during leaps, teething, post-vaccines, sicky stages, high temperature or general poorliness, babies can feel hungry a little more than usual. So I firstly always try to give her a little milk, and if she pushes away, it’s not that!

Has baby got wind?

The most effective way I’ve found of checking this, is putting Mila over my shoulder and patting/rubbing her back, not soft but not hard.

Is baby’s nappy clean/dry?

This has been the case for me so many times, a huge amount of fussiness and it was the smallest thing bothering her, just a little wee in her nappy but she wanted a fresh one!

Does baby need to do poopie?

Constipation is painful, more so for babies! It can be very uncomfortable and upsetting. You know your baby’s pooping habits and frequency, when did they last do it? If it’s been longer than usual, then doing bicycle legs helps us a lot, followed by a small dose of gripe water. Hello poopy nappy and happy tummy!

Temperature..

Check it! Better to be safe than sorry! A high temperature can indicate (amongst other things) some pain of some sort, and being left to cry makes them hotter and more worked up. Once, Mila’s temperature was almost 40 degrees, after a quick call to 111, I gave her a dose of Calpol and stripped her under layer off. Within 40 minutes she was down to 36 degrees and sound asleep. (If your baby has a temperature which doesn’t go down after stripping and giving Calpol or an alternative, always seek medical advice!)

Comforter

If baby has a comforter, whether that’s a binky, a toy, a teddy, a piece of your clothing, whatever it is, make sure baby has it in bed with them (safely of course). Mila has two – a binky and a bunny rabbit comforter. They both work wonders!

Once you have eliminated whether baby physically needs something, if they are still crying, chances are it’s emotional and they just need Mama. That’s when the holding, rocking, shushing, reassurance, kisses, face stroking, white noise, bottom patting and hair stroking comes in most useful.

4. Bedtime bath

During those fussy times, especially at night, don’t underestimate the power of a warm bath!

Ideally, what works better for us is when both me and Mila bath together. It’s lots of skin to skin time and that, coupled with dimmed lights and warm water, really chills Mila out in her more fussy times.

If you’re not comfortable with sharing the bath with baby, as I know it’s not for everyone, it can be daunting at first for safety reasons, then a baby tub works just as well. Lay baby back so their ears are slightly underwater (if baby has an ear infection then I do not recommend that part). Gently pour small amounts of water at the top of their head, aiming for it to run down the crown of the head and onto the neck (not into baby’s eyes – Mila screams bloody murder if it goes in her eyes!). Also, gently massage a small amount of shampoo into their head, and swirl the water around baby. What helps us, is using a lavender and chamomile based bubble bath and shampoo. We currently use Johnson and Johnson’s baby bath time range (purple bottles), and a bath is now part of our bedtime routine. It has helped significantly in getting Mila to sleep through the night!

I hope the above tips and tricks can help someone who may be having a more difficult time in settling baby at night. It happens to us all and you’re not alone.

I can only speak from my own experiences, so since we have been fortunate enough to avoid colic, I can’t comment on how to help a colicky baby settle (although I’m pretty sure cuddles would help to some extent!) Of course I would always say that if you feel that your baby’s crying is out of the ordinary and that there may be another problem, always seek medical advice.

Most things about being a mother and parenting are trial and error. Some things work for some babies that don’t work for others and vice versa. Don’t feel like you’re doing something wrong just because suggestions like mine might not help. You will find your way with it and it does get easier (in my experience).

As always, with developmental leaps and general fussy times – patience goes a long way and baby will be grateful in their little heart for your patience and for trying everything you do.

Big love ♥️

Hooray for Mamas

“Mama”

noun ma·ma \ ˈmä-mə , chiefly British mə-ˈmä \

Definition: A woman who sacrifices everything about herself, for her child(ren).

Also known as: Superwoman

It’s often said that being a mother is learning about strengths you didn’t even know you had; and I for one completely agree.

I hear of so many mothers whose husbands and partners are less understanding of what we actually do whilst we’re at home with baby and they’re at work. I have to say, I really feel for those poor mamas because if you don’t get support from your partner, it makes discovering your personal strengths much more difficult.

I recently spoke to a lady who’s husband berated her for not getting the housework done whilst he was at work. Now, hold up! I keep on top of my housework as much as possible, it’s rare that I don’t get things done but that’s because Mila is (most of the time) excellent with her day time napping. On Mila’s fussy days, particularly during developmental leaps, nothing and I mean nothing gets done. I might not eat until 6pm, I might not shower until 2am when she is finally asleep for the night. I might not shower at all that day because I’m so exhausted.

I can be quite obsessive about things at times, such as the clothes washing, vacuuming and other mundane chores; and I also like to put on makeup and look slightly human (still with “mom hair” though). However, it can’t always be done, and whenever I fall behind on chores, or don’t get to wear makeup, I remind myself that nothing else will ever be as important as being there for Mila and tenderly caring for her needs.

I’m lucky enough to have a husband who understands all of this and helps out wonderfully when he is home. Everything he does I am thankful for, but it makes me sad when I hear of other mamas who are not getting continued support from their partners. After all, parenthood is a journey you embark upon together, and it should be all about that. Togetherness.

So for all the mamas with partners who question why there are dishes in the sink, why their food hasn’t been cooked or why they have “stopped making an effort”, I say tell them this:

“There are dishes in the sink because every time I try to put baby down for a nap, he/she wakes and screams because they need me more right now.

The laundry basket is overflowing because myself and baby had 2 clothes changes by 10am today due to sick and spit up.

The vacuuming hasn’t gotten done because it took me all day to settle baby for a nap, and I didn’t want to wake him/her with the noise.

I haven’t been wearing make up because in the short periods of time I may get to myself during the day, I spend it trying to rectify all of the household “problems” you are highlighting.

Yes you’ve worked all day. So have I, caring for and raising our child. Making sure he/she has everything they need all day and all night long.

So here’s a thought: Why don’t you do the dishes tonight. Maybe throw a bunch of washing in the machine whilst the tap runs. Why don’t you cook dinner tonight, and while you do that I can take a shower.”

It is so important to remember that no two days are the same in parenthood. Some days are significantly more challenging than others. Some weeks are in fact!

Never let it be said that mothers at home with baby don’t do anything. We do everything. Every single thing. And that often means doing absolutely nothing for ourselves.

That’s who we are.

That’s what we do.

We are Mamas.

We are Superwomen.

Motherhood – 9 Weeks In

Life with a 9 week old baby is full of fun, magical moments and is all about creating the most precious memories.

I constantly go from wanting her to be my baby forever, to being so excited about all the amazing things she will do in this life.

9 weeks in and Mila has learnt how to socially smile, as opposed to those pesky ‘is it real or is it wind’ reflex smiles. And boy, there’s no question about it when it’s a social smile! I live for those moments when I make her smile by doing funny faces and funny voices, tickling her and massaging her. Those big ol’ gummy smiles will forever be imprinted in my mind and heart – every single one!

I’ll tell you now, when a baby learns how to smile, that beaming face literally lights up a room! I still get teary now when my sweet girl smiles at me, and she’s been doing it all week! From the bottom of my heart, in my world of motherhood, the best thing ever is when Mila smiles because of me.

Life at 9 weeks for us, is when Mila is moving through her 2nd leap, and instead of it being a frustrating and upsetting time full of tears and crankiness, it’s been (dare I say it) pleasant! It’s been full of cuddles, sleep, extra feeding and the discovery of her hands! Which she obviously thinks are completely yummy since she likes to munch on them so much!

I also noticed during this leap, that my sweet but cunning little princess is cleverer beyond her 9 little weeks. She has learnt that when I hold her to my chest to rock her to sleep, that if she grabs the neckline of my t-shirt, it will be difficult for me to put her down without her knowing! What a mischievous little genius!

It’s the discovery of toys and sensory learning. She now reaches out to tap toys within her reach, and will often grab one of her many comforters and hold it tight. Cue more teary moments for this proud Mama!

I love watching my baby girl grow and thrive and I love seeing the happy little girl she is turning out to be. It melts my heart and makes everything I’m about to tell you now, one million percent worth it!

So life with a 9 weeker, despite all the fun and smiles, is also about cooking my food and eating it cold because my darling little one decided she wants to be entertained… right after I plate it up! (You. Were. Asleep!)

It’s about making myself a coffee and reheating it in the microwave at least twice before I manage to drink it.

It’s having a minimum of 2 washing loads every single day, because we both have a change of clothes most days due to sicky and pee-pee instances. Sometimes pooey instances too! (Obviously Mila’s…!)

It’s 95% of my beloved baths being taken with bambino, because it calms and soothes her so much as she loves skin to skin. The other 5% are lightening speed quick, while Mila dozes in her chair by the bathroom door, often tricking me into thinking she’s about to wake up.

It’s a whole new appreciation for dry shampoo!!! Which by the way, is SO underrated! It takes me an hour to wash and dry my hair, so I now sport the “mum hair” style most days – thanks to the amazing Batiste dry shampoo!

Life with a 9 week baby is about the wonder of speed and stealthiness! I would put money on the fact that as soon as Mila closes her eyes for a cat-nap before bathtime, in around 2.382862 minutes I will have crept out of the room ninja style, ran the bath, checked the temperature, arranged her onesie, sleeper, nappy, cream, lavender oil and nasal spray on the bed, ready! I will have heated two towels up, made her a bottle, gotten good old Ewan the Sheep in a prime position, blankets heated up, bedroom lights dimmed and the TV at just the right volume for my little madam. All ready for after her bath.

2.382862 minutes. No joke!

In all honesty, I’m loving week 9. I’m loving motherhood. I’m loving the good and the bad. I’m loving how much more I appreciate everything in my life and it’s all thanks to baby Mila.

Oh here’s a fabulous 8-9 week development! – Mila’s body clock has swivelled around the right way and she’s now sleeping an average of 8-10 hours per night – so anyone with a ‘nighttime cranky’ 4-7 weeker (like mine was!) I’m here to tell you…. it gets a whole lot better!

…. You’ll still have cold coffee though 😃

Letters to my Daughter

I have a lovely friend named Kelly who is a big supporter of my blog and my journey through pregnancy/motherhood, and last week she sent me a super thoughtful gift which I just love.

Now I have this little booklet where I can write lovely letters to Mila and seal them up with a note on when to open them.

This is so close to mine and my husband’s heart for a very special reason involving Mila’s Nana Lynda.

Thank you Kelly!

I am going to use these to put into words to Mila how special she is, and how very loved she is. How I yearned for her long before I knew it was possible for me to have her and hold her.

I will tell her how proud I am of her as she grows and develops into a little girl, and then a big girl (although she will always be my little bunny).

I will tell her how brave she is, and how strong she is for overcoming all her battles in her little life thus far.

She will know by my words, how she has enriched mine and her Daddy’s life so very much. How she makes even the cloudiest of days seem brighter, and how she’s made the world a much better place from day one.

She will know how very loved she is and always will be. How much she makes everyone smile. How happy she makes everyone feel.

She will know how much I love her smile, how I cried the first time she did it, and how the sound of her laugh melts my heart every single time.

I will write her a letter all about her Grandparent’s love. How Nannie Mary and Grandad Sandy have been completely obsessed with her from the moment she was born and even before that.

She will know that she has Nana Lynda and Papa Cuthbert as her very own guardian angels; watching, guiding and loving her from a place much better than earth.

I will thank her for bringing so much joy, love and happiness into mine and her Daddy’s lives. For loving us unconditionally and for trusting me to always do right by her. I will thank her from the bottom of my heart for blessing me with motherhood.

I will write to her as she approaches and conquers all her milestones and she will feel my love within my words. How immensely proud I will be when she says her first word, takes her first steps, says her ABC and 123. When she sleeps through the night, when she learns how to potty, when she moves onto solid foods (when she eats her first Brussels sprout!)

When she shares something with a mini friend for the first time, when she learns her please and thank you, when she tells me “I love you”.

There won’t be a single space within this booklet that isn’t filled with my love letters, lovehearts and my complete and utter love for Mila.

Mila will read my letters when she is older, and she will know for the rest of her life just how very precious she is; exactly like her Daddy did.

You Are Enough

Sometimes you’ll feel like the world’s worst mother.

It’s true. As a mother, and in my case, a brand new mother, you will feel like the worst there is.

It’s important to remember though, that it’s just a feeling and it’s not reality. Although I can only speak freely and honestly about my own experiences, I can guarantee that if you’re a parent and feel anxious during the tougher times, you are not alone.

The reality is that being a mama, being a parent, is hard. Sometimes it’s painfully hard.

When your baby is poorly and too young for any kind of medication, and all you can offer is cuddles, kisses and love; it will feel like this isn’t enough. It is.

Baby will cry and fuss and cry some more. Sometimes baby will cry for hours on end with no amount of soothing seeming enough. You will cry. You will feel frustrated, you will cry along with your baby and wonder why nothing is working. You will have moments where you feel like you are not enough.

You are enough. You are a mama and you are doing your very best.

When your baby goes through a “leap” (check out Wonder Weeks) this includes anything developmental such as physical growth spurts, different sensations, brain growth, changing patterns and the list goes on; you will feel at your wits end and you will wonder why you can’t soothe baby.

Mila’s first leap was at 5 weeks where she experienced a growth spurt and the world of changing sensations. Just like when she was born and her world became different to the one she was used to inside my womb, at 5 weeks all of a sudden her world became different once again – her vision became sharper, her hearing became clearer, my touch felt harder on her delicate skin and the world in her eyes came into focus.

This bewildered my little Mila. It frightened her and overwhelmed her and as a result she needed me more than she ever had before in her short little life.

She cried. Oh, she cried. She cried so much she made herself vomit, she cried so much I was scared she couldn’t breathe. This went on for a week and was always at night time in the small hours, making it easy for mama to feel alone and to feel scared.

Mila needed me and I was there. One particularly difficult night I rocked, I shushed, I cuddled, I kissed, I spoke, I sang, I swaddled, I walked the length and breadth of the house a thousand times. I stripped us both and did skin to skin, I bathed her, I gave gas/colic drops, I nursed, I fed, I burped her, I checked and changed her nappy a thousand times, I stroked her head, her face, her tummy, I massaged, I put on the TV, music, Ewan the Sheep; and eventually turned it all off. I took her temperature, I tried playing white noise, I turned on my hairdryer, I tried to co-sleep. Nothing worked and I just had to cry right along with her.

I. Tried. Everything.

Throughout it all, Mila screamed as though she was in physical pain (she wasn’t). She screamed as if nothing I did was enough.

In the end, after 5 hours of constant crying, I put her in her car seat and drove the 20 minute journey to my parent’s house. At 4.30am!

When I got there she was fast asleep. She slept soundly from 5am until 9.30am and when she woke, all her upset was forgotten.

Mila had experienced her first bewildering night in her first bewildering leap.

I had experienced my first real feeling that I was the world’s worst mother and I couldn’t have been more wrong. I was brilliant. I had done everything in my power to soothe my sweet baby and in the end I had sought help from my parents.

This is all normal and it’s all part of a baby being a baby!

Again, you are enough. You are a mama and you are doing your very best.

So when your baby is having a melt-down and nothing you do will calm them down, not even for a minute, just remember that your feelings of helplessness and despair are normal. They are warranted. They are common, they are (unfortunately in the early days) frequent; but they are 100%, absolutely, unequivocally normal.

Baby needs mama. That’s all there is to it. Even when you can’t stop their crying, they still need you just to carry on doing what you’re doing. Also, it’s okay to ask for help. In fact, it’s good to ask for help.

I promise you, in your baby’s eyes and heart, you are the world’s best mother. And that’s the only opinion that counts.

You are enough. You are a mama and you are doing your very best.

Friendship : Quality vs Quantity

There’s a popular cliché saying which goes like this “if you want to find out who your true friends are, have a baby!”

It’s a quote I used to see often (usually on Facebook) which had the naïve pre-baby version of me rolling my eyes and thinking, “why? Why would anyone lose friends after having a baby!?”

Surely not!

Well, guys and gals…. it’s sad but it’s true! That old cliché is a cliché for a reason – because too many people can relate!

Which brings me on to the title of my topic on friendship – that of “quality vs quantity”.

In my eyes, in my opinion and in my heart, since becoming a mother myself I hands down choose quality. Every time.

I used to have a whole bunch of friends who I thought were there for the long haul. Some of them didn’t drop off when I became a mother, for some of them it was before that. Sometime long before that. Growing apart, physical distance, different interests, relationships, busy lifestyles etc. And that’s fine. Because that’s life and it happens. I don’t hold a grudge about any of that and I wish the majority of my past friends well. Those friendships are the ones that taught me how and why quantity in itself doesn’t matter.

However, there are definitely people, friends of the closer variety, who make a whole lot less effort once you no longer want to party every weekend. When you don’t have nearly as much free time as you did before baby came along. When you become a bit worse at replying to texts and calls because hey let’s face it, you’re raising a miniature person…. twenty four hours a day! And that stuff is time and energy consuming! (It’s also wonderful and magical).

There are those who don’t invite you to events anymore “oh she will just say no” (will I? Psychic Sue, will I really?)

And those who don’t want to hear you talk about your baby so they stop texting and calling altogether. Unless of course, you start to chase them up! (And when do we mere mortals have the time to do that hey?)

There are those who will make excuse after excuse about why they don’t come and see you anymore, and make further excuses every time you try to reach out and spend some of your precious free time. It happens, it really does. And in my experience it’s worse when it happens with the friends who you did not think it would.

Now, those are the friendships that didn’t teach me that quantity isn’t important. Nope. They are the ones who taught me how stupendously important quality is!

I don’t have handfuls and handfuls of plentiful friends anymore. And I’m okay with that. Because I have a handful of the highest quality friends you could possibly imagine.

And a miracle baby. Who is the centre of my entire universe.

Quality beats quantity hands down, every time.

I have learnt to be even more thankful for the ones who stuck around, because they are the ones who genuinely care and most importantly, the ones who love my little sweetheart, Mila.

I urge all parents who have lost some friendships since having a baby, no matter how real they seemed at the time, take this from it – with a handful of the best, who cares about the rest?

Parenthood – The Advice, Bad-vice and Reality

When I started telling people that I was pregnant, I started getting warnings and pieces of advice from pretty much everyone. Some of it was fab, some not so much! Let’s face it… no first time Mama wants to be told her “lady parts” are going to be pretty much obliterated. (That doesn’t happen by the way. I repeat, it does NOT happen – that’s what the doctors are for!)

So the advice and the bad-vice would come all the time! From friends, from family, from strangers!

“Childbirth is the worst pain in the world, make sure you have every single drug you’re offered.” (I wouldn’t take codeine but I hammered the gas and air!)

“You’re not supposed to eat for two, baby isn’t a person!” (Wrong. Mila was a person as soon as I knew I was carrying her).

“Make the most of spending time with Jermaine, that’s soon going to end!” (A mile off!)

“You will never stop worrying once your baby is here.” (Absolutely true).

I was endorsed with horrific childbirth stories, from forceps, episiotomies and tearing (I had them all), to pain, blood, complications and all the gory details.

I was bombarded with ominous, yes ominous statements about how my body would never bounce back and would never be the same. About whether Jermaine would be able to look at me the same after the “experience” (labour). Or whether he would take to fatherhood since he isn’t used to being around babies. That one got me. Not the fatherhood part, I never had any doubt about that. But men are big and rough and clumsy.

I was even scared by the suggestion that I, me, would struggle with motherhood! Even though I’ve never wanted anything more.

I was warned about fatigue when my SPD was at its worst. “Oh if you think you’re tired now, just you wait.”

“You’ll never know tiredness like it.” (Correct). And my personal favourite.. “make sure that you sleep when baby sleeps in the day because you will never sleep at night time.” – Impossible for this Mama! When Mila sleeps in the day that’s when I tackle the housework, sterilise bottles, see to the dogs, sort all the washing (the washing should come with a warning of it’s own, just saying!) oh, and try to eat or grab a coffee.

I did appreciate all of the advice and even the bad-vice because for the most part, it came from a good place. It’s just that people seem quick to instil a little fear in you (albeit unintentionally), but in doing so they forget to tell you about the breathtaking, magical journey you’re actually about to embark on!

No one told me that despite the mind-numbing pain I was in, the moment I saw my daughter’s face my heart was going to burst out of my chest; and in that instant nothing else in the whole world would ever compare to this overwhelming love.

No one told me that I would be so overcome with emotion and happiness that I wouldn’t even pay attention to the dreaded stitches.

No one told me that when they laid my daughter on my chest, I would kiss her little head and cry silent tears of pure happiness. That right then, “happy tears” would never be more real.

No one told me that as much as I love my husband, that as soon as he became a father my love for him would instantly multiply to a level I still can’t even fathom.

No one told me that seeing Jermaine holding our newborn child with such gentleness and care, looking into her eyes with nothing but love, and holding her close with a protectiveness I can only compare to a lion with his pride, would trigger a feeling inside my heart that I still can’t explain now. He is most definitely not clumsy! (Yes I did eat my words!)

No one told me that Jermaine’s love for me would never be questioned after the “experience”. They never told me that he would see past the blood and gore, and tell me I was beautiful. And mean it. I’m beautiful to him. I think even more so now I’m his baby mama!

No one told me that the sleepless nights and the fatigue would be so, so worth it. That at 3am when my baby is laid feeding, looking into my eyes and holding my finger, or my hair; that it would feel like we were the only two people awake in the world. The world would be ours.

No one told me the baby melt-downs and the tears would be a learning curve for me. That even though I would sometimes feel at my wits end, I would also know that everything I did was for my daughter, and that that would be the most rewarding thing in the world, and would make me a brilliant Mama.

I don’t mind that no one told me any of this stuff. Finding it out for myself was the best thing I could have hoped for, because this is my very own journey.

This is my journey with Jermaine, and it’s my journey with our bundle of love, Mila.

This is our journey and the best is yet to come.